I have been hesitant to share our journey through fertility…no matter how far we’ve come as a society, it’s still a difficult subject. Not being able to produce a child is embarrassing at best, so when that happens to you…it’s just hard to know what to do, what to say…

So today I am writing our story because I believe that one day it may help someone else. At the very least, it may help our families to understand us better.

Shane and I have been trying to have a baby for nearly two years. We waited for about nine months after we were married to start “trying” because my hopeful plan was to be due to deliver around spring break of the following school year and be able to stay at home from then until the start of the following school year.

Of course, that was not to be. So, we tried. And tried. And tried some more. I tried charting my basal body temperature, invested a lot of money in ovulation test kits, took countless pregnancy tests, and for month after month saw nothing except a sad and frustrated couple staring back at me in the mirror.

We saw couples around us getting pregnant, having babies, and in some cases, having more babies. We tried so hard to be happy, positive, optimistic, but instead became discouraged and jealous of the people we loved because we were not as fortunate.

I have struggled with hypertension for years and this summer it spiraled out of control. I spent weeks working with my doctor (and switched doctors through the process) to find the right medicine and the right dosage that would regulate me. The key was to find a medicine that was both effective and was baby safe. Most blood pressure medications are not safe for pregnancies so this was tricky. Initially, one of the combinations included a diuretic to cut down on the swelling that happened when my meds were doubled. My gynecologist was not ok with that, so one of our goals had to be to get my BP to a place where I didn’t need the diuretic.

At the same time, I went to my gynecologist for the “ok, we’ve been trying for a year, help us please!” appointment. While there, we ran into an abnormal pap test, which resulted in a (very painful) colposcopy. It was during these appointments that my gynecologist put the kibosh on the way I was being medicated and sent me back to my primary care physician before she was willing to discuss a pregnancy. A few weeks (which felt like forever) of trials and tests, we were good to go with the blood pressure (it was even a little low – great news!) and were ready for the big fertility appointment.

We finally, FINALLY were able to get in to see the gynecologist again and had a quick meeting to get a prescription and instructions for our first cycle of Clomid. We had to wait about three weeks to begin the first round, and here we are. Yesterday, February 15, was Day 5 of my cycle, and was therefore Day 1 of Clomid. I will take the medication for the next three days (five days in total) to force ovulation. At this point, my gynecologist believes that we haven’t conceived because of anovulation – I am likely not ovulating. If that’s the case, the Clomid will likely help. Ovulation should occur somewhere between days 14-18; we will begin “trying” before and during that time.

So here we go. We are praying for good results this month, being optimistic, and being prayerful that it’s baby time!