Figuring It Out

When they told me that IVF would be tough on my body, I had no idea how true that would be. I haven’t felt right for months. Things that I used to love to eat (Shane’s spaghetti squash!) now make me want to throw up. I have heartburn all the time. I’ve been actively sick for a week and a half…turns out it’s strep…a disease I literally haven’t had since I was four years old. (Family members may remember it as the nasty rash I had that was, in Mom’s words, worse than when I had chicken pox.) My immune system is not what it was, that’s for sure.

Speaking of that, we are taking a break from everything until after the holidays. We just can’t bear the thought of putting ourselves through the stress again during an already stressful time of the year. Our plan is to start acupuncture sometime around Christmas break and then start the process of a FET (frozen embryo transfer) sometime in January. We haven’t even had the conversation with RGI for a number of reasons…we haven’t really accepted what happened…we aren’t ready to do it again…we aren’t prepared to spend thousands of dollars again. (This cycle will be significantly cheaper at $3500, but is still obviously quite expensive.)

We will likely not announce when we are starting or when we transfer the next embryo. What made the entire “negative” process so difficult was having to tell so many people and feel we were letting so many people down.  I will probably still blog about it, but privately…we will open up the blogs after we have news, one way or the other. We don’t want to keep anyone out, but that was one of the things about which we were most sure – we would be more private the next time.

We have lots to think about and pray about, as always.

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