In deciding to go down this road again, we’ve made some decisions about how to handle the whole process differently.

1. Heading into another round, we are advocating for ourselves more. This is significantly easier now that we know what to expect, but nevertheless, we’ve been conscientious about asking lots of questions, not accepting simple answers, and working to make sure we are as comfortable and happy as possible. For example, we have an appointment on the 17th at 8:00am. I really can’t miss three Fridays of work in the same month, particularly not the 7:15am contractual meeting our union worked hard to negotiate. I asked if I could come in on the 16th at 3:00 instead. The answer is essentially “no” but we pushed and now it’s the 16th at 3:00. My doctor won’t be in at that time and he likes to be able to evaluate progress himself, but you know, we all have a schedule. And mine is important too. Another doctor can measure the lining of my uterus just as well. And if it’s that important, they don’t need to work at three different clinics all over Ohio. And clearly, it’s not that important…because, as Shane pointed out, at our first appointment, our doctor was skiing. #EndRant (Shane gets props for pushing for the changed appointment – good job, Bun!)
2. We are having acupuncture to support the transfer. I asked about acupuncture when we started IVF and Dr. Nash told me to “save my money.” We’re now $20k in, people. Save my money? What does that even mean at this point? I decided to ignore him and go with my instincts. Even if there aren’t any hard facts that support a positive correlation between acupuncture and IVF, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence and if nothing else, if it keeps me calm and centered, it can only have positive effects. I’ve had two treatments with Christine at the Connor Integrative Health Network and they’re fabulous. She also gave me ear balls, sometimes known as ear seeds, to push on Shen Men, a Qi point in the ear and OMG are they amazing! I feel so much more relaxed, centered, and calm.
3. We are being private. It was so difficult to keep everyone informed the last time, and then tell everyone when the answer was no. In fact, it actually made us feel that much more distant from our family members as we grieved for our lost pregnancy. We were not sure of much after IVF, but we were sure that we were not even going to discuss a frozen transfer until after the holidays and we knew that we would keep everything that happened next to ourselves. We’re hoping that by keeping this process to ourselves, we’re able to stay in control of the information and situation, and, bonus, we will be able to give only GOOD news to our family and friends.

I’m proud of how we are handling this cycle. I feel more in control and more at ease. We feel in charge and, so far anyway, that’s making all the difference.