I’ve discovered that there are a whole lot of loving people in the infertility community who are all too happy to step up and share their stories and lend comfort to a terrible – and frankly, terrifying – process. This kindness didn’t come from a fellow IVF patient – but from someone on the completely opposite end of the fertility spectrum. (more…)
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A few things to share…
1. We had our consult meeting with Dr. Nash last week. A few things: first, we agreed to progress through the treatment plan. Next, we discussed IVF as a whole in detail, and finally (and probably most importantly), we discovered that I have a low follicle count. He says they will have to “jack [me] up” with more meds. Translation: another $500. He gave us a 40% success rate for the first cycle transfer. We also discussed the possibility of a FET (frozen embryo transfer) cycle in the future or if my body isn’t quite ready for a fresh transfer after being “jacked” during the retrieval process. (more…)
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For the past sixteen years, I’ve wondered if it was my job to teach people how to handle themselves when someone else suffers a tragedy…no, people of the world, it’s not OK to relate the death of your goldfish to the death of my mother. Sorry. It’s also not the same to relate the death of your 97 year old mother to my 49 year old mother. It’s OK to just say “I’m sorry.” You don’t have to say anything else. Trust me.
Now I’m wondering if it’s my responsibility to teach people how to conduct themselves when faced with someone else’s infertility. The first response should NOT be: “there’s always adoption!” First of all, what a false statement, and second of all, adoption isn’t for everyone! Are you, Mrs. Insensitive, going to pony up the thousands of dollars it costs to adopt a child? Your second response should also not be relating it to an issue you’re having, unless that issue is years of infertility capped with the IVF Talk. Trust me, baby girl, you have no idea. Again, a simple “I’m sorry” is completely sufficient. Better yet – silence with a reassuring hug is even better.
Now, to get everyone to take my advice…
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We met with Dr. Nash last Tuesday and got news we definitely were not expecting… First, me. I am both Vitamin D deficient (“because you’re a white girl from Ohio”) and insulin resistant. This is a side effect of the PCOS. Among the other symptoms like insane periods and unwanted body hair, I also get that joy. The doctor started me on 1000mg of Metformin ER (500, twice a day) in order to help my body breakdown sugar. I think. Anyway, the insulin resistance is the part of PCOS that makes it harder to lose weight and Metformin can help with that (according to Dr. Pinterest). So far it makes me nauseous but I guess that’s an expected side effect. So there’s that.
Next…Shane. Some of his sperm are shaped wonky…to be honest I’m not sure of the technical term…something about morphology maybe. Anyway, regardless, the combination of his sperm plus my lack of ovulation gives us a whopping 5% chance of conceiving on our own.
Five percent. As in, probably not. (more…)
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Shane had his semen analysis yesterday at Reproductive Gynecology Laboratories so now we’re done with testing and are truly, truly waiting.
When we meet with Dr. Nash on Tuesday, we will find out the results of that test and my glucose/insulin tests and his plan for us if, again, God forbid, we don’t get pregnant this cycle. (For what it’s worth, I’m so bloated this month. I’m assuming it’s because of all of the hormones that were pumped into me…between the Letrozole and trigger shot, and of course what each did to my body that it doesn’t do naturally, it’s to be expected that my body would react in some kind of way!
Still waiting. Still trying to be patient. Still trying to breathe…
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I got up early this morning to take the glucose tolerance, both the twelve hour fasting and the “drink the stuff” tests. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I was expecting – the drink wasn’t tasty, but it wasn’t horrendous. Extra surgery Gatorade, maybe. Anyway, I got my three hourly blood draws, got a bunch of school work done, and went on my way! Hoping for good results when we meet with Dr. Nash in a couple of weeks.
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We headed back down to Akron this morning for another ultrasound to check on the developing follicles with Dr. Nash. Thankfully, we had two good looking follicles and a healthy looking lining, so after he gave us the OK, a nurse came in and administered the trigger shot to make ovulation happen!
We met with another nurse to go over our chart and make sure everything is progressing according to plan; we both have another test to take (semen analysis for Shane, obviously, and glucose/insulin testing for me) this week and then will meet with Dr. Nash in two weeks to discuss our plan if, God forbid, this cycle doesn’t work.
We kept everyone at bay through this process because we just didn’t know how to feel about it. Frankly, as I’m writing this in a private post, we’re still keeping most people at bay, for so many reasons. It’s difficult to know what to say when people ask…how much do you share? Do they really want to know, or are they just asking the “next” question in the cycle of life? It reminds me of the awkward statements people made after my mom died. No, I’m not doing well, but you don’t want to know that, right? You want me to smile and say things are fine. People try to ask the polite questions, but to us, they’re gut wrenching. There is no good answer, so we just avoid it. For the most part, our strategy works – it’s left us alone…but it’s left us to be alone in an already isolating situation. We are so blessed, however, to have gotten so much love and support lately. Tonight, one of our dear family members sent the picture below and some really, really kind words that made us both thankful that we did open up…we’re thankful to have so much love and support as we journey toward parenthood. ❤
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Shane couldn’t go with me on Saturday morning for the ultrasound, so Emily came with me for my 8:00 appointment (what a trooper! Don’t worry, I bought her breakfast as a thanks!)…which was insanely anti-climatic again! Dr. Maseelall talked us through the egg measurement and saw that they’re not quite ready so I’m headed back in with Shane tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and hopefully the administration of the trigger shot.
I’ve been feeling symptoms more during this cycle – pains, cramps, tingles – than I ever have before, so hopefully that means that the Letrozole worked to get me “prepped.” We will find out tomorrow!
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We had “Cycle Day 1!” on Tuesday of last week, so we are in full-blown testing mode. I went to the clinic on Thursday for my baseline ultrasound and blood work, unfortunately, without my doting husband. He was training some of his officers and was unable to get away. My sister Emily volunteered to go with me, but I screwed up the times and had to rush out and she was also unable to go. The nurses were correct: if there was one appointment to miss, it was this one, but it would have been nice to have had company for the fifty three minutes that I waited with bated breath for the ultrasound. (Not much more uncomfortable than sitting in an exam room “prepped” for an ultrasound and waiting…and waiting…and waiting for the uncomfortable moment to come.) I kept myself entertained with texts from my hubby and Emily and two of my very dear girlfriends from high school who are unfortunately experiencing some similar issues. Thankfully the ultrasound and blood work were both clear so we were clear to go on to the next round of testing.
In the meantime, we also started Letrozole, or Femara, a drug that’s commonly used for breast cancer but has become more widely used for fertility. It serves the same purpose as the Clomid but with fewer side effects – THANK GOD. The five day treatment cycle was painless and easy – no side effects!
Today was the hysterosalpingogram or HSG or tube test – the test to make sure that everything is clear and open in the fallopian tubes. Shane was able to come with me to this test, so we went to Summa Akron City Hospital to see Dr. Nash in the radiology department. Because of the nature of the test, Shane wasn’t able to come with me into the room itself but it was quick so neither of us had time to get lonely. 🙂 It was uncomfortable at best, painful at worst, but it was absolutely fast, so at least it had that going for it. It wasn’t as painful as a colposcopy but it was rough! The good news is, despite the discomfort (and residual pain as I’m typing this), everything is clear! Dr. Nash said everything looks good so we are thankful for that.
Next up is another ultrasound on Saturday to make sure that an egg is developing. And that’s all I know! I’m sure I was told what’s after that, but to be honest, we’ve been told a lot and I’m a little overwhelmed! Regardless, I am thankful to be on this road to answers – and could not be more thankful to be on the road with such an amazingly supportive husband. I can’t imagine it any other way.
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We are coming up on the one year mark of when we asked for help. I saw my gynecologist in August, had an abnormal pap test, and had to go through the process of getting that straightened around. I’m currently waiting on my period to begin so that I can call my fertility doctor to begin treatment and testing.
We went to Reproductive Gynecology, a fertility clinic in Akron, right after school was out in June. Two things slowed us down, despite the urgency with which Dr. Nash approached our case: my extremely long cycles and our upcoming beach vacation. Before the slow down, I was so impressed with Dr. Nash. My complaint with my gynecologist was the speed and urgency with which she approached my case. Very, very slow treatment, and even slower testing. When Shane and I arrived at the clinic for our first appointment at the beginning of June, we were immediately whisked back into the offices before I’d even finished registering at the window. The physician who did our intake paperwork was thorough and incredibly compassionate. Not to the point of being mushy, but he certainly conveyed his concern for us and our history. He finished with us after a few minutes and let us know that Dr. Nash would see us soon. Not five minutes later, we were ushered into Dr. Nash’s office and he bustled in, ready to take action. He immediately diagnosed me with PCOS, despite my objections (my gynecologist has looked for that diagnosis in the past, but didn’t see any cysts on my ovaries so therefore, it was ruled out. Dr. Nash asked me a series of questions and then confirmed that, yep, I had it! Done, as he said!) and then set forth with a plan for our treatment. He assured us that he is aggressive with his treatment and testing – in fact, he does both at once. He ran through the treatment process, spun our heads around, and then whisked us into the next room for an ultrasound. The test was clear so we were ushered down the hall for blood work and then back to an exam room to meet with a nurse. At that point, we figured out the issue with the timing of the vacation so were essentially just told to “call on Day 1!” It was the farewell we were offered by nearly everyone in the office as we left, from the phlebotomist, to the nurses, to Dr. Nash, to the receptionist…and by the way, we left after about an hour and a half in the office. We had hardly any waiting at all during every step of the way, complete attention, and intense compassion from every member of the staff.
We knew that we had to delay our treatment/testing until we returned from the Outer Banks, and here we are! We are so pleased to have chosen this clinic, even though all we’ve done is meet with them!
The Brennens... 